i hate my fcking life .

OMFG . this is the WORST it could possibly get.
i mean , its one thing to move to taiwan and go to and american school and still have like english friends i mean i prolly get used to it and like it after a while , but its another to move to taiwan and go to some REGULAR private taiwan school with REGULAR taiwan people, i mean i cant even speak mandarin well & much less read the words ! i was just thinking it couldnt possibly get worse , when i found out im moving back in FCKING JANUARY, and that when i go to taiwan im going to be A FCKING SEVENTH GRADER . oh my god, i think im gonna just kill myself. I mean , not only am i going to miss the promotion (and the chance to sing the solo D: ) and go to like great america, disneyland and such , but like im going to have a REALLY hard time catching up with SEVENTH GRADERS in taiwan ! @#$^%$& !

so on the way back home it was kinda of like this ;
me: well, we still have like 6 months to do that right ? (we were talking about something to sell )
mom : .... what do you mean 6 months ? we're leaving in like january .
me : ... huh ? are you serious ?!
me: but but im going to miss like promotion and disneyland and stuff and so soon too !
mom : well you already went to disneyland last year, so it doesnt really matter.
me: its not just that ! i mean i wanted to sing in promotion and do everything ! (tears start forming ... )
me : and its going to be really hard to catch up , its better if i start school in the beginning of the year !
mom: no , we want you to catch up , you do know when we go back to taiwan in the middle of the year youre going to be a seventh grader right?
me: ..... WHAT ?!?!?!?!?!? @$%#@%$#@ (even though i tried so hard bunch of tears came out -.- )
me: you guys are so MEAN TO ME ! how can you do this to me ?!
me: how am i supposed to catch up in taiwan and everything ?! do you care about my future ? im going FAIL !
mom: youre so selfish ! is that wat you only think about ? missing all the fun stuff? have you ever thought about us ?
me: ITS NOT JUST THAT MOM ! how can you do this to me ?
mom: how dare you shout at me , you want to get off the car right now ?
(we arrive home luckily though .... but i was too angry to care )
me: (starts crying & screaming -.- ) YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN ! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS ! #%$@#%$@#% (i said this actually about 10 times in a row while crying and running to my room )
and then my mom calls me a maniac .

and then i like lock the door and jump on my bed and start crying and screaming over and over =___________=;;
my mom like pounds on the door calling me to get out , but i ignore her . i mean she cant get in anyways, i was too mad to care wat she'll do to me next.
and then i like cried fer like 30 minutes ish .... i hate how my eyes are all red and blotchy now D:
im really considering suiciding D: why is this all fcking happening to me ?!?!?!
i dont like this .... well, typing all this blew off some of my steam ... :/

i guess i feel a bit better now , but its so obvious my moms like avoiding me >.>
maybe i can calmy talk it over later ...
they want me to go back in the middle of the year to "catch up" but isnt it harder to catch up in the middle of the year ? i mean i rather start fresh with other new kids in the beginning of the year , i think its much better that way D:

well ... i'll go like eat ... food. (food / music always helps me feel better)

i'll talk to you later on aim .

i just enabled the ability to comment !
click on the link that now prolly says 0 comment to comment .